Scared We’ll Just Talk Feelings? You Might Be Right… But It’s Good.

“Therapy is just someone asking how you feel”

Last week, a group of amazing students from the Saint John Learning Exchange came to visit our new office uptown and learn about what it’s like to be a therapist. They all had great questions prepared but one question really got me thinking…

 “What do you say to people who say, ‘I don’t want to go to therapy because I don’t want someone to just ask me how I feel all the time?’”

It’s a common misconception. And like many therapy myths, it points to something deeper: discomfort with emotion, fear of vulnerability, or uncertainty about what therapy is really about.

Let’s unpack it.

Yes, in therapy, we do ask how you feel. But not just to make small talk. Not to put you on the spot. And definitely not to make you sit and stew in hard emotions without direction.

We ask because how you feel is information.Your feelings help us trace patterns, understand your needs, and make sense of the stories you’ve internalized. They're the threads that tie together your past experiences, current struggles, and future hopes.

But therapy isn’t just about naming emotions.

It’s also about:

• Noticing what you’ve learned to avoid

• Exploring why certain emotions feel unsafe or unfamiliar

• Building tools to manage the uncomfortable moments

• And eventually, choosing how you want to respond instead of reacting out of habit

So if someone says, “I don’t want to go to therapy because I don’t want to be asked how I feel,” I might gently wonder: Why not? What makes that feel hard, or unnecessary, or even threatening?

Because chances are, there’s something important waiting under the surface.

Therapy isn’t always comfortable. But it’s not meant to be performative or painfully drawn out either. A good therapist meets you where you are. And they ask the kinds of questions that help you get where you want to go—even if it starts with something as simple as: “How are you feeling today?”

If you are ready to explore how you feel Tammy is currently taking new clients - reach out info@therapycollective.net or book online here!